Biography, A Word About Life Coaching, And Testimonials
The first thing you might notice about my coaching style is my confidence and my commitment to truly helping people. I will only take on clients that I am certain that I can help, and if needed I will happily refer people to a business mentor, a therapist, a social worker, or other professional I feel better suits them rather than wasting their time and money. I am straightforward; I don't play games and I don't "sell" coaching. I am honest about what I can and cannot do, and whether or not I can help your particular situation. Additionally, I don't even take payment upfront. If you're not happy, you don't pay. It's that simple with me.
I am confident in my coaching because it has worked for many others, and, especially, it has worked for me. I practice what I preach. I am happily self-made, having given myself permission to honor my own values and uniqueness. Initially, I lost a lot of sleep, opened a landfill of worms, got a great deal of help, and am now finding myself happier every day. My office and my style are casual and comfortable, even a little unconventional, but my methods are solid, cutting edge and professional. My name is Crystal Hites, but, to the confusion of some, I’ve added Nyya to my name and run my services by the name of “Unknotting by Nyya.” Too bad for the confused! “Nyya” means “purpose” in Swahili, and it echoes my firm belief that, in this confusing world, the measure of a person’s soul is by his intent, or purpose, behind any action. I’m sure you’ve experienced times where you meant well but really goofed; or did something dishonest and self-interested just to find out you never got caught and never caused visible harm. Steinbeck wrote, “For man, unlike any other thing organic or inorganic in the universe, grows beyond his work, walks up the stairs of his concepts, emerges ahead of his accomplishments.” We are more than our actions and results: we are our purpose. Carl Jung said it himself: “I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become.” One of my core beliefs behind Unknotting is that we all must identify and seek out a higher self than that rough self which our past circumstances, nature and nurture has created for us and mired us in… and a new, thoughtfully created and named identity is a step towards that goal. We must be more than what our parents, bank accounts, relationships and jobs give us! So in choosing a name, an identity, we move ahead. We create ourselves. Many world cultures and religions use re-naming as a rite of passage, and this a method some clients find very useful in their coaching experience. So in nick-naming myself Nyya, I join my clients in their growth, and join them in their journey of happiness and fulfillment. I am always learning, always growing, always stretching myself, just as I stretch my clients.
A Western New Yorker all my life, I studied at the University of Buffalo for a very short time, majoring in psychology, and at the same time volunteering for Crisis Services of Buffalo as a suicide prevention phone counselor. I continued my education at SUNY Fredonia and then began to study life coaching, developing and tweaking my own style of coaching (Unknotting) from about 2005 on. I am a poet and writer, a moderator for isurvive.com, which a sexual abuse survivor’s forum, and a student of religions. Additionally, I'm a columnist for Erie Gay News, (you can view my articles and their wonderful paper here), and I recently became a member of the Mobile Crisis Outreach of Chautauqua County , as well as NAMI, the National Alliance on Mental Illness. I am happily married and constantly covered in cat fur, being a sucker for anything that purrs, and I’m a bit of a neo-Luddite and freegan.
I particularly enjoy working with those of alternative faiths, lifestyles, marriage arrangements, and sexual identities; and with those going through a divorce, identity, or “meaning” crisis. I am associated with the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom and it's KAP (Kink Aware Professionals) program- you can see my listing here. My friends describe me as the most open-minded, down-to-earth, accepting and “real” person they know. I am a sort of modern day Walt Whitman (think Leaves of Grass) in my love of people.
ABOUT PERSONAL AND LIFE COACHING
Unfortunately, the field of personal coaching is just now becoming formally recognized in the US. As such, there are plenty of schools offering courses and credentials, some of value and some not, and all present themselves as the end-all-beat-all official best. As I write this in 2009, however, the field still lacks oversight and regulation, and there is no recognized credentialing or licensing beyond a school-by-school mash. There are also many “credentials” in this field that appeal more to the appearance of professionalism than assure you real value for your money. There are also many psychologists and therapists simply adding the word "coach" to their title for additional income. Choosing a coach is therefore a very much a “buyer beware” affair. It is for this reason that I do not take payment upfront on my sessions, allowing my clients to ascertain my value for themselves. No snake oil charlatan can afford to do this, and certainly most professional doctors, therapists, chiropractors and others do not do this. It is my proof to you that I am here not just for my wallet, but for YOU, and that Unknotting works! If I don't help you, you owe me nothing. There isn't even a hassle waiting for a refund... You simply don't pay.
Biography, A Word About Coaching, And Testimonials
People go on chasing goals to prove something that doesn’t have to be proved: that they’re already worthwhile.
- S. Johnson
"Always value honesty and integrity over appearances."
-unknown
Unknotting Method and Tools Copyright 2005; All Website Contents Copyright 2009-2010 Crystal Nyya Hites. May not be used or copied without explicit written permission.
Words from a Recent Client:
"From my initial contact with Nyya, I was impressed with her warmth and generosity of spirit. She is a gentle, compassionate soul whose strength and wisdom are certain to lend clarity to those who seek her assistance. Her empathy and ability to synthesize the lessons of her own experiences enable her to guide others to their own solutions and recognize their own potential.
When she offered me a session in exchange for permission to post a short quotation of mine, I visited her website to learn more about her coaching style. What I found not only led me to accept her offer, but also to look forward to it with a renewed optimism that surprised me at the time. I had long been “stuck” in a rut of sorts, feeling as though I had been ‘spinning my wheels’ and going pretty much nowhere.
Our conversation was, in a word, illuminating. It is a rare thing to encounter an individual who is able to glean details and use those details to create a larger vision; Nyya is one such. She is able to create a “tapestry” of sorts from those points covered during the session by weaving them into a coherent and logical series of ideas for the client to consider. I have been considering those ideas she offered me since we spoke, and find my life slowly clearing as they process. I look forward to speaking with her again, and encourage anyone fortunate enough to have the opportunity to do the same.
-Leanna N. Stead
*** In Loving Memory of Tony Dragotta, the best friend and mentor anyone could have ever had. You opened to more than all the world's vast potential- you opened me to my own.***
*** In Loving Memory of Lori Schmitt, Director of Isurvive. Your light was the first bit of sunshine for so many who endured such darkness... I'll continue to carry your torch.***
